Love.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

♥ 2:55 PM

When will I ever stop getting pushed about by people?

Especially my own sister who is like 3 years younger than me!!!

My brother (1 year younger) is right that I'm so lousy cos I can't even stand up face to face to my sister cos I always end up giving in to her. And I've always set an example how to show respect to others but she doesn't do it at all. So is dad going to say that it's my fault again for not teaching my siblings?!

I hate being at home why can't I leave at 6am every morning and come home at 12am?

:'(

My sister steals practically everything that I own. And she doesn't return me money that she owes me but indirectly tries to get more from me. And talking about money, I wish dad would give me allowance and increase it. My only $150 salary from helping at anderson cos there was this particular lesson when Liang laoshi, yongxin and zuyou all weren't around is also running out soon. Ugh!

And I'm really lazy to update!

And I wish my dad would wake up and realise that whatever is up with his lack of money recently is killing the house. There is no food at home, no soap shampoo and all at home, we haven't bought our school stuff, I have no allowance for almost one month now!!! (my siblings do cos they are back in school already) and more.

And dad, even though I know you are doing me good by asking me to read the newspapers everyday, I wish you'd stop nagging so much and give me some peace. Everyone tells me not to blame you for not allowing me to go for the shhk Genting trip and I know I can't, but I hate you for this year's new year. Honestly. If you wouldn't let me go, why couldn't you bring the family out like you do every year?! Why?

You are a good dad, but you are not a responsible father.

I also wish that you'd wake up and realise how much you've spoilt your youngest daughter.

And that you'll stop wanting me to be some engineer, doctor or impossible stuff in future. Cos I want you to know that I can't do my Physics and Bio well!

And I wish you'd realise the reason why I like to stay out of home so much.

Wish you'd realise why I am always telling you I'm going to school dance, help teacher or just huiguan. Because at least the people there treats me like something, and they are always there to help me when I need the help that you can't give me.

I've never had to borrow so much money from people before and I get so worried when they refuse to accept when I return them the money cos I feel soooo bad. I tell myself I will go home to get money from you but the moment I see you, I dare not ask. Either that or, you aren't home at all, at least till after I'm asleep.

And honestly I'm really grateful to have Liang laoshi and all the shhk people. :)

I think I owe Liang laoshi like a lot a lot a lot of money now. Haha but I feel even worse when she's so good to me. Sometimes I really wish as if she were my mum ^_^

(Although it's not the first time people's been asking if she's my mum when I'm standing with her and I don't even know in which aspect we look alike hahaha! :p)

Anyway! I am so pissed off cos my sister has been stealing my stuff to wear and when I questioned her she simply kept quiet and continued to tie her hair in front of the mirror. And she tried to walk out of the room with me standing at the door. So I stopped her and guess what she did?

She shouted at me straight in my face, rolled her eyes and walked out of the room.

Like what!?! 你是姐姐了吗？

Yet I can't bring myself to scold any vulgarities cos I don't know what I should scold her. But all I know is, if she hadn't walked out of the room so soon and I had reacted quick enough, I would have slapped her mouth!

And my maid is complaining about there being no food at home. Hence, dinner for the past few nights has been maggi mee and I've not been eating at home.

Because.. Hopefully my not eating at home would slow down the rate of the number of packets of maggi mee running out. Skipped dinner on tues night too cos of funny reasons ;)

AnywayI just realised I have 2 sms from Elibird already oops! Haha yay thanks bird for going dinner with me tonight! I'm going out of house. Bye~!