http://dazzlingfantasy.blogspot.com (:

ZINA TAN XIU QI (:
25th August 1992
YangZheng Pri; Dunman High School
6G'o4; 2A'o6; 4F'o8; 5C12'o9
Email: zinatan1992@hotmail.com (:

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second post for today.. well k ballet was basically alright today and miss lim was late, okay lah, about 20 mins late. whoa, today was the final lesson, the FINAL one to the ballet exam. grade5 has passed so quickly, so very quickly... and then I forgot to go and buy what I was supposed to buy... sigh, shall go tomorrow


urm yeah k this part is of what I feel k? its not another depression one, its just how I seriously feel k. You may see me always so happy, but actually I always keep all these inside me. Thats why sometimes I keep so quiet because I suddenly have all these thoughts. If I still dont share it with you, I think I will have uncomfortable nights forever. k I wish I could have someone I could confide all these too, but I dont know who, so I shall just tell my real feelings and you can take it that Im telling it all to you...

have you ever thought of the future? not the future whereby you start your own family and live happily ever after, but the future that belongs solely to you, when you become old? now while you are young you get nearly everything you enjoy, but when you grow up, you are the one trying to satisfy others instead. you have to leave everything that you once loved so much? for example, lets say you love ballet [I never say me only] and then you finished the syllabus everything, you graduate and you become a final ballerina, will you miss ballet? do you wish you can join it all over again? once you leave primary school, do you wish you could start all over again in primary school? seriously, time is passing too quickly. i dont know why k, but I feel that time has sped up, everything is passing faster than before. soon one day you will find yourself having white hair and wrinkled skin or even find that you have a deadly disease like cancer, and you die. die just like that. die with everything that you once had.. all gone.. I wish there was no such thing as dying, I wish everyone could live in the world forever.. and ever. now I regret wishing that time past so fast.. I wish time would slow down, or even stop. I dont want to grow up, I dont want to be independant, I would rather be the ME now till forever. But the four stages in human life are irreversible, once its gone, its forever gone. there will be no such thing as repeat. so cherish everything that you have now, I tell you, love everyone beside you, live your life to the fullest. how I wished that I was still a little girl being loved and cared and looked after by my parents..

okay seriously this isnt a depression post k, its just how I really feel in the most most inside of me. so dont console me I tell you first, coz this is what I feel now and what I will feel forever.. you may think I say like this because Im scared of death.. seriously yes lah, but I mean, this is life, when you are given a chance to live one, live it to the fullest, why must you try to end it over trivial matters? why why why? then when your chance is up and its time for you to go, you have so much regrets. seriously why? if you dont understand how I feel, try thinking about the future, not reflecting about the past. what will happen after you die? think k..