http://dazzlingfantasy.blogspot.com (:

ZINA TAN XIU QI (:
25th August 1992
YangZheng Pri; Dunman High School
6G'o4; 2A'o6; 4F'o8; 5C12'o9
Email: zinatan1992@hotmail.com (:

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Recently I have been doing things that I shouldnt have been doing and that I have never believed I could do them... I will never spill them out because who knows once the victims find out I will be doomed, especially since a few of them are my good friends. I seriously dont know why I actually did all these, but I can tell you its all out of jealousy. It is not 100% jealousy, there is also not-facing-up-to-facts and much much more. I dont know, seriously I dont know. You can say that I dont face up to reality, im petty because I feel that I can have whatever I want but I am secretly trying to control what you can have and getting jealous or angry when you have something that I dont.


This is pure jealousy and selfishness I tell you, and I've been like that and you cant change this fact. I think Im probably mental to be doing this kind of things? I am angry with this person after I find out this thing, but how can I say Im angry with this person when right from the star Im not supposed and shouldnt have known all these? I think this person has never visited my blog and even if she has, I wont know. But still I will never ever reveal her name. I feel so betrayed, not for myself, but for someone else. Sometimes I wished I had never even thought of doing this so that I will never ever know the terrifying truth. Why did I do it?


But after doing it for awile, I become guilty and then I stop and do everything to destroy evidence. There is and there must be somebody that I can tell all these too, but I really dont know who... I feel like telling this person the truth, but will she accept the fact that I actually invaded their privacy? Something's seriously wrong with me... I pray that I will never ever do that again... But who knows I might have that temptancy again... dont ever talk to me about this, I will tell you about it only if I wish too. So if I dont want, you better not force me or you will have to bear the consequences yourself.


Forget about this topic mans, I feel as if I am suffering from DEPRESSION and I can feel my whole self stiffening up when I said everything. So glad that there will be ballet this Friday -- additional lessons... ballet is so much more better than cs de lor... coz I find that I can catch up better at ballet... k yeah, im gonna reflect on my evil deeds le byee